The Plank Cam

OK zero budget filmmakers it’s time to learn how to get fluid tracking shots over rough terrian, clearing cars and other obstacles and not have to pay the outrageous fees they charge for hiring steadicams, steadicam juniors, jimmy jibs, cherry picker cranes, dollys and track or all that other stuff that usually goes for £1000 a day minimum- and this method doesn’t even involve sleeping with a steadicam/jib/crane operator, most of whom have bad hair and wear 10 year old Pink Floyd T shirts (except for Jeff Mart who’s a proper gent). Anyway, here’s how to make Blunt’s non patented PLANK CAM.

1. Get a plank. For God’s sake, don’t pay for it. Free planks are everywhere. Get one out of a skip. The one we’re using here was abandoned in the alley outside my house, along with about 20 rotting plasterboards which we have yet to find a use for. Camden Council don’t seem too keen on picking them up either, the bastards. but I’m straying from the point.

2. Place your camera in the exact centre of the plank. If you can’t be bothered to measure it place a pencil under the plank and move the plank up and down until it rests on the pencil like a see-saw without either side dipping. Then measure it properly because the pencil thing never works.

3. Secure the camera with plenty of gaffer tape. (tip: don’t buy gaffer from a camera place. They charge something like £15 for a roll. Hardware shops do the same stuff for a fiver. Very handy stuff, gaffer tape. Good Zebbies are never without it) Mind you don’t tape over any buttons you might need later, or else cut holes in the tape to get to them.

4. Right, we’re ready to start shooting. Get one person to hold the plank at one end, one at the other, and roll camera! Your two plank-cam operators may need some time to get used to the arrangement, but you’ll soon see the results with some really smooth tracking shots. For maximum absorption of bumps, a kind of Groucho Marx style walk seems to work the best.

This is only the very basic plank cam. If you see yourself doing a lot of shots like this, you can upgrade your plank-cam to the high end model like the one below with just a little imagination and a lot of gaffer tape. The crucial item is the counterweight which cuts down on camera wobble. If you really want to go for it, put the counterweight on a swivel joint so it remains pointing downwards when you tilt the plank.

Ok, we will admit right here that the end results probably wont beat dolly, track, steadicam, jib and all the expensive stuff which needs highly trained people with bad hair and Pink Floyd T shirts, but remember that the average popcorn muncher can’t even tell the difference between film and video, let alone appreciate a technically proficient shot. The plank cam will give you a perfectly acceptable shot and while Stanley Kubrick would probably leave it on the cutting room floor, bear in mind that he’s dead and we’re all still alive so who’s laughing now, eh?